


standing on the sideline

by dreaminginmint



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Childhood Friends, Domestic Fluff, Late night thoughts, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, My First AO3 Post, Sleepy Cuddles, just my little babies being cute basically, making it official
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 18:08:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7694284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaminginmint/pseuds/dreaminginmint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kenma sighed quietly.<br/>“My boyfriend”.<br/>He whispered those words into the quiet dark of the room. They nearly drowned in Kuroo’s calm breaths being the only other sound in the room. He wanted to hear how they sounded out of his own mouth, how they tasted on his tongue. He had to admit he liked that taste.</p>
            </blockquote>





	standing on the sideline

Kenma didn’t really know how he ended up here. Here meaning in Kuroo’s bed at four in the morning staring onto the white ceiling with Kuroo’s head resting on his chest, an arm wrapped around his waist, sleeping peacefully. It didn’t feel unnatrual, it felt like the most normal thing in the world and that kept him wondering. Kept him awake.

Kenma sighed quietly.  
“My boyfriend”.  
He whispered those words into the quiet dark of the room. They nearly drowned in Kuroo’s calm breaths being the only other sound in the room. He wanted to hear how they sounded out of his own mouth, how they tasted on his tongue. He had to admit he liked that taste. Still, he wasn’t used to it. They were childhood friends. There had been times where Kuroo was his only friend. These times were over now but they weren’t just friends anymore either.

They just kinda slipped into a relationship. Both knew that but they had this unwritten rule of just not putting a label on it. Up until now. Kenma tried to put a finger on when they started to be more than just friends but he couldn’t.  
It was a question of perspective. Did they start dating when they first held hands? Or when they had their first kiss? Or when Kuroo began to end his usual good night texts with “I love you”? Or was it when they had their first time some weeks ago? He couldn’t tell.

Maybe it was even way earlier. Maybe it was when they locked their eyes and Kenma could feel his heart pumping like crazy and the butterflies going totally mad in his stomach and kind of knew that Kuroo felt the same. Maybe it was when that happened for the first time. Although he couldn’t remember when that was.  
Everything just came natrually. 

Kenma had never been a person to enjoy much physical contact. Other humans bothered him most of the time. He liked his video games more than them. He had always liked Kuroo the most though. Even when they were little Kuroo was the only one besides his parents that was allowed to touch him. Back then he didn’t spent many thoughts to it. Somehow he still didn’t. 

Kuroo was and would always be his only exception. He just couldn’t put him on the same level as other people. Kuroo was above that. It used to not bother him when Kuroo wiped away his tears when he had fallen over and hurt his knee. He used to get a little excited too when Kuroo grabbed his hand enthusiastically to get him to play outside with him. He didn’t mind all the hugs they shared over time, all the times Kuroo ruffeled his hair or every little nearly unnoticable contact when they spent time together. 

He was a little surprised himself but he didn’t mind the kisses either or even Kuroo’s hands on his bare skin, neither his lips. He felt like they were made for that. There were times he thought that he was just not made for love, that there just wouldn’t be anyone that would keep up with the burden he thought to be. Now he knew that he had that person in front of his eyes for years, he just took his friend for too granted. 

Kuroo had always promised him that he would never leave and Kenma had never doubted that a single second. By now, he was quite sure that he had loved his childhood friend from when they first met. Maybe that was why he never really noticed since these feelings had always been there. He just needed to get older to understand them.  
It took time. He figured out piece by piece, just like they did with their relationship. Kenma knew one day they had to talk about how things should be going on from now. He was just as fed up as Kuroo from hiding but the words still caught him off guard. 

It must’ve been something around three hours since they had sat on Kuroo’s bed, just their shoulders and thights slightly touching. Kenma had hestitated for a moment but did take hold of his captain’s hand, their fingers loosely intertwined. If these hands weren’t meant for holding his, they were specifically made for volleyball. He would never say it out loud but he looked up to the older one for being the captain. Who would’ve known he would made it this far when he tried to get Kenma to play with him when they were nine or ten. Kenma wasn’t an egoistic person but he allowed himself this one selfcentered thought of Kuroo’s hands being just made for his.  
He had the urge to get closer. Resting his head against Kuroo’s shoulder he wondered a little, why he had never been a romantic person but wanted to believe so much in Kuroo being his soul mate. That was when Kuroo blurrted out.

“I want to make it official!” He looked at the blond with a firm expression who instantly sat up straight again as a reaction to this unexpected statement. A quiet “what” left Kenma’s lips. Full of anxiety and disbelieve. His eyes went wide while Kuroo continued. It felt hard to look him in the eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, okay? I’m happy how it is, but look”, he lightly squished Kenma’s hand, ”I don’t want to think twice about doing this. I don’t want to just stay at the sideline watching you so nobody notices. ‘Cause that’s how it feels.” He moved his gaze away again and became a lot quieter. “I want to be by your side all the goddamn time... My place is on the court, Kenma.”  
Kenma took a shaky breath: “but doesn’t that sound scary to you?” He got a chuckle as a response, what irritated him a lot already but the words that followed shouldn’t help either: “I does, it really does but I don’t care” 

Kenma wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean. “You don’t care?” His question gushed with confusion. Instead of giving him a direct answer Kuroo softly pressed his lips on Kenma’s. Getting firmer as he got kissed back. After they had parted he leaned their foreheads together. “Tell me you feel scared while we kiss”, he whispered, his breath brushing against Kenma’s lips.

“I can’t”, his voice didn’t sound as sure as Kenma wanted it to, “I’m not”. He couldn’t see since he had his eyes closed but he was sure Kuroo was smiling. “See, that’s how I know everything is going to be alright.” Kenma found himself smiling into another gentle kiss that Kuroo placed on his mouth.  
One hand tucking his blond hair behind his ear the other still intertwined Kuroo grinned broughtly at him. “So now I can tell everyone about the most adorable boyfriend in the world?”  
Rose red spread quickly over Kenma’s cheeks. Somehow the simple nod he managed made Kuroo smile even brighter before he closed their lips again.

They had just left it there. No long, complex discussions. Just another two hours of binge watching an anime, like they always did together for years now, until Kuroo had trouble keeping his eyes open. Most of the time it was Kenma being the younger and smaller one that got tired first and snuggeled up against his bigger friend but Kenma held these rare times dear when it was the other way around.

He was up for an hour now, just thinking. It wasn’t his usual overthinking that made anxiety float through him. This was calm and relaxed. Kenma felt safe and at home.  
That was how he ended up here.  
That was why he wanted to call Kuroo his soul mate.  
Kuroo was his home, his safe spot, his promise that nothing could defeat him.  
So why not share that with the world?

**Author's Note:**

> So this is basically my first attempt on writing an entire oneshot in English (also my first Haikyuu piece), so I hope you can excuse if there are some mistakes here and there (/_\\) I hope I can improve quickly  
> I hope you liked it and thanks for reading!


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